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Fashion DON’T Episode 1

January 27, 2009

 I’ve been too kind, it’s time for the teeth to show and for me to tell the masses how it is.

Honey, let’s talk about vinyl. 

Really? Really Lip Service? Why are you still doing this to those poor goth kids who don’t know any better? You are causing my eyes extreme pain.

Vinyl will NEVER look good on you, so give it up. It especially doesn’t look appeasing when you are three hundred pounds and you squeeze your sausage self into a size 8 vinyl dress. This fabric will highlight every love handle, pot belly, and man boob. It also makes you sweat like a piglet. Great! Now you have no friends because you smell like a foot. Unlike latex which doesn’t breathe at all, vinyl lets just enough through to make the stench of you unbearable. In addition, it’s  embarrassingly cheap. I’m sure you had stars in your eyes when you bought those vinyl pants at Hot Topic in 1998, but it’s over now. Burn them. But do it outside, those smoke fumes might melt your crow make-up.

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