Archive for June, 2009

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Tactical Error

June 22, 2009

Recently, there has been an abundance of reviews concerning this corset. Here at Stylecunt, we feel it our duty to give you our own review. What follows is another conversation between Steamcunt and Stylecunt concerning the Tactical Corsets……

 

Picture 1

 

 

Steamcunt: Let’s examine this.

1. Corsets are intended to make you look thinner.

The Tactical Corset straps a bunch of shit to your midsection, completely obliterating the intended silhouette. 

 

Stylecunt: I can already sense that this idea is going to spiral out of control, and send the alt majority five years backwards in fashion. 

It reminds me of those velcro suits people wear.

Then fling themselves into walls.

 

Steamcunt: The garment is a study in self-defeat.

2. Corsets squeeze and bind your torso.  This defines them as corsets.  A garment that does not constrict is not a corset.

By definition, a corset is impractical.  Wearing it in any sort of practical situation, particularly one dealing with potential physical harm is, at best, mind-bogglingly stupid.

 

Stylecunt: It apparently works for vampires.

 

Steamcunt: That’s a good example, actually.

That corset was so badly-fit that it was flapping around Beckinsale.

Because otherwise she would not be able to MOVE.

 

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Lip Service: The Fail 2009 Line (Part 2)

June 18, 2009

Welcome to the exciting sequel to Part one of my review of Lip Service’s 2009 Fall line. 

LOST VELVET EMPIRE

 

Velvet empire, methinks you should have stayed lost. After fashion broke up with you in the late 70’s, we really never expected you to surface again. But if we ever need an outfit for a ‘Little Lord Faulteroy Gone Wrong’ party, we’ll let you know. 

Also, circular cameo on the back? Where have I seen that before……
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Lip Service: The Fail 2009 Line (Part 1)

June 14, 2009

Sit on down kiddies, it’s time to talk about our old friend Lip Service. 

In an attempt to make fashion fail drones feel special, Lip Service has recently started offering a ‘pre-order’ service. This allows you to stake your claim on the upcoming season before it hits the stores. The fail, I mean Fall line is already up, and it seems that black credit cards everywhere are melting from overuse (some styles have already sold out it seems). 

I’m sure that on the first day of school, your little friends Spooky and Sider will clutch their lunchbox purses tightly to their chests and gasp as you stroll by in your latest Lip Service duds. 

So what has Lip Service cooked up for us this time? I’m sure that the flurry of new silhouettes and fabrics will knock the snark right out of my mouth. I, for sure, am going to be told. 

 

RETURN OF THE THUNDERDOME

Hey look! It some sort of burner/gypsy/circus/goth fashion fusion. I have certainly never seen anything like that before

I would really, really love to know how exactly this is Thunderdome? Is it meant to mean that the old Lip Service Thunderdome line has ‘returned’ from rehab? Usually, I would complain if they just recycled an old line, but if this the best they could come up with, give me the old stuff any day. At least it had a neat little flight cap, it went perfectly with my biplane. 

I know that when I’m fighting to the death on a bungee cord, goth gypsy school girl is definitely the look to strike fear into the heart of one’s opponent. The hide-the-belly zipper top is key. 

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Lascivious Louboutin

June 4, 2009

Once again, Christian Louboutin has awoken my shoe mania. This collection showcases a wide range of heeled delicacies, made even more palatable by their  complimentary setting in these photos by Peter Lippmann. One can only hope that the designs trickle down the chain into copies that we, the shoe devotees, can afford. 

These scale heels are definitely a must have. 

 

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