Archive for the ‘GIVE BLOKES A BREAK’ Category

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Comely Chap

August 15, 2009

I have composed a neat little assemblage of my latest favorites from Atelier New York. You gents sure are lucky…..

CAROL CHRISTIAN POELL

 

JULIUS

More images and designers after the jump!

Read the rest of this entry ?

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No Disappointment In Sight

July 13, 2009

On a semi regular basis, I sing the song of love to my favorite men’s designer, Julius. Once again, with his new line, he has failed to disenchant me. 

Bring on the tactical gothninjas!

 

     

     

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Nippon Net

May 16, 2009

Currently, men’s fashion has been dominated by the drape. The runways are covered with blokes sporting the scarf and sweater. An entire armada of walking coatracks has flooded the streets of every metropolis. 

Now while I love the idea of the lads trying on a new trend, I can’t help but miss the silhouettes of yore. I can’t remember the last time I saw a dapper young gentleman with a tie and crisp collared shirt. It seems that tailoring has completely fallen to the wayside in lieu of outfits consisting of knit blankets. 

I miss the sharp striplings,. Come back and visit once in a while, will you?

Vogue Japan.

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Beguiling Blackguards

April 28, 2009

Recently, alt men’s fashion has become ensorceled in the rainy day shades of Rick Owens, Junya Watanabe, Ann Demeulemeester, and the like. The age of the cargo pant and polo shirt are over. An army is emerging from the shadows, and they have taste……..

 One such soldier of fortune is The Viridi-Anne, the Japanese -born label created by Tomoaki Okaniwa. 

If there’s one thing the world needs, it’s fashion forward zombie hunters. 

 

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They Call It “Gothninja”

April 14, 2009

A term spawned by necessity on the superfuture style boards, then co-opted by 4chan’s /fa/shion board, “gothninja” addresses the current runway trend for draped, layered, top-heavy, grey and black urban battledress.


Unknown, possibly Rick Owens.

“Goth”, for the monochrome palette, overall gloom, Victorian and Edwardian inspiration,tattered edges, and super-tight, bordering-on-fetishistic fits.  “Ninja”, for the obscured face, seaweed-like sweeps, and sense of sneakening.

The primary designers are Rick Owens, Gareth Pugh, and Ann Demuelemeester, the latter unpronounceable lady I just want to murder in her spooky bed for giving birth to these boots:

As it is not financially feasible to have these boots AND a college education, I suggest you youngins sit down for a good hard think about where your priorities lie.

Like asphalt Bedouins, the gothninja tribe wraps, drapes, and jangles. The look is prohibitive: only the extremely svelte (or starved) can really pull it off.  The silhouette is stick legs and swooping shoulders, making this one of the very few nearly-non-unisex fashion statements. Lookbook superstar Biz C. pulls off some gothninja garb with applomb, but the lady is far from voluptuous.

Luckily (I guess), the signature drop-crotch harem pants sported by so many gothninja have appeared in outlets as accessible as H&M, where hipster scum are already pairing them with Wayfarers for the ultimate in street-level purgative effect.  Just the other day I saw a group of them standing in a circle, affecting disaffection while playing some sort of hackysack/lacrosse mashup, cradling the ‘sack in their sagging trousers while rolling their eyes.  I had to have a lie down.

This cunt remains ambivalent about the ol’ drop-crotch, but the rest of gothninja speaks to me on a spiritual, sexual level.  I find myself wearing too many scarves, cinching here and draping there, and generally refusing to give it a rest. I am told regularly that I “look like a crazy person” and I just cannot bring myself to care.

And it’s not all black holes and revelations; a few rebel cels have splintered off to form new flocks.


Cloudninja. (Rick Owens Fall ’09)


And of course, Steamninja. (Ann Demeulemeester Fall/Winter 09, image from Fashion Flux)

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Off The Ice

February 14, 2009

I, like many cunts I know, have unhealthy obsessions. And the one that hurts our wallets the most has to be Fluevog

When you can identify the shoe’s name and the family it belongs to, you know it’s gone too far. You’re sucked in, and the only way out is by spending every penny you save on foot orgasms. 

 

Those of us besotted with the brand are currently squealing with joy in response to a few new releases. 

Body Part: The Business Boots! The only boot that’s a shoe and a boyfriend (if i need to spell it out for you, the heel is shaped like a cock).  $549

 

The LA: Melrose! The long awaited cousin to the legendary Grand Nationals. $445

 

The Earl of Warwick: Coventry! The fairest of the 2009 Men’s line. $295

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Tokyo Deconstruction

February 6, 2009

Men, stop complaining.

 

I’ve had enough of men bleating that there are no decent designers or labels for men. It’s not that they don’t exist, it’s that you are far too lazy to look for them. I pity your lack of patience. 

 

Here’s an easy bump in the right direction. Tokyo based designer Julius is exporting the look I want to see all of you swathed in by mid 2009. Julius and designers like him have slowly been creeping out of the shadows into the mainstream, providing us with the post-apocalyptic zombie hunter silhouette we crave. 

 

You can find his collections in a wide range of stores all over the world, many in the United States. And if you find the price tag to be too exorbitant, the look is relatively easy to pull off .

 

Just add:

1 cup distressed boots

2 tablespoons cargo pants

3 cups layered shirts

1 scissors 

1 quart medley of belts and straps

1 whole leather jacket, distressed, destroyed, rebirthed

Pinch of black, brown, and gray

Mix!

 

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Saved

January 28, 2009

 Here at SC headquarters, we have a new obsession. Join us now, and bow down to the British fashion behemoth, All Saints. 

Their collections are exactly what we have been waiting for. We, tiny goth caterpillars, trying to escape the constricting chrysalis of Lip Service. Now it is possible to become ‘goth du jour’ adults by attending the church of All Saints every Sunday, and sometimes on Christmas. 

There is a down side. Unfortunately, being a British label means selling your items at British prices. As prices go, they are extremely lofty and tend to inspire tears. My only advise is to look on Ebay, make it yourself, or find something similar at the mega boutiques. 

All I ever hear from men is that it is so hard to find decent mens clothing. Instead of focusing on All Saints prestigious fall womens line, here’s the mens instead. 

http://www.allsaintsshop.co.uk/

These belts are staggering, I especially love the ram skull cufflinks. 

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Horn And Sickle

January 28, 2009

I thought that I would throw the men a bone (or horn) and introduce you to award winning British designer, Shaun Leane. His sizable array of intricate jewelry is now catering to men, as well as women. 

His prices make me flush, but his products are such a lovely spectacle. 

www.shaunleane.com

In addition, the prodigious shoes of designer Augusta. 

www.augusta-shoes.com/

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Be Fashion Forward When You Hang Yourself

January 28, 2009

Men, i hate your ties. 

That paisley design that you bought at Mervins makes me want to set you on fire. It makes me wonder, when men purchase ties, do they keep their eyes shut? Do they panic at the massive assortment and just grab something quick so they can complete the transaction and escape shopping? I’m going to make it easy for you, do NOT buy shitty ties at shitty department stores. There are better options. Such as the amazing medley of fantastic ties at Cyberoptix Tie Lab. Stylish screenprints to bring savy to your business ensemble.  I mean, c’mon, tentacle ties people!! Tentacles!!!

Cyberoptix