Archive for the ‘VANITY’ Category

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Penurious Personages

August 9, 2009

In these economic times, we fashionistas are taking a hard hit. Money is becoming scarce and price tags keep on soaring. Garments that were in near financial reach last year now seem miles away. In a age where style is constantly in flux, a standstill wardrobe is unacceptable. We here at Stylecunt are not blind to your plight, and would like to offer some (hopefully) helpful advise. 

MAKE DO AND MEND

It was good enough for grandma, so it’s good enough for us. If something breaks, fix it. Buying simple supplies from your local fabric store is substantially cheaper than replacing garments altogether. It’s easier than you think, most repair jobs do not necessitate the use of a sewing machine. 

MODIFY

I can’t tell you how many different garments you can make from a simple t-shirt. When an item of clothing becomes stodgy, consider simple alterations in lieu of the rubbish bin. Sometimes, scissors can be your best friend. Turn those pants into capris, rip off the sleeves of that shirt, distress that dress, etc etc etc. Also, familiarize yourself with the world of fabric dyes.

FLEAS

Flea markets are true gold mines. They’re an oasis of folks who don’t know the true value of their wares. Clothing can be lacking at these emporiums, what you really need to scavenge for is accessories. Gloves, hats, and jewelry are always rampant at fleas. Antique kid leather gloves are easy to find, and through creative cutting, can be transformed into haute ornaments Julius would be proud of. Also, with some resourceful pinning, shawls become two second skirts. The possibilities are endless, keep you eyes open. Craigslist is an excellent source to find local garage sales and estate auctions. 

LAYAWAY

Can’t afford it now? Pay it off over time! Many boutiques offer this kind service, and I urge you to take advantage of it. 

DECONTAMINATE

For the love of Pete, clean out your closets. If you have a pile of clothes that you a) Don’t want to alter, b) Are too lazy to sell, and c) Don’t fit any more, give them away! Clothing swaps are how I acquired nearly one fourth of my wardrobe. Your friends need your help in this time of fashion crisis, lend them a hand. 

EBAY

There are some labels that most of us will never be able to afford, so buy it secondhand. I can reveal to you that all of my pieces from designer All Saints were gained through this medium. 

GOODWILL

Racks of tops that are all under $8, what more do I have to say?

BUDGET SITES

There are scores of websites out there with loads of cheap shoes and clothes.

Cutesygirl

GoJane

Forever 21

AmiClubwear

Electrique Boutiqu

 

I do indeed hope that this post was helpful to those of you feeling your belts tighten.

For the first time, I will be taking submissions. Send me your make do and mend’s, your own penny pinching ideas, fashion you believe should be killed with fire, and the like. I want you to send me photos of your outfits. The most ‘fashion forward’ outfit of August shall obtain a special prize from Stylecunt.

Please send all submissions to stylesnatch@gmail.com.

And with that, I leave you with some visual eye candy. Ignore the makeup, adore the accessories.

 

 

More images after the jump!
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Cowl In Fear

July 8, 2009

Remember Steamcunt’s article about skin care? Well, if you missed it,  it was exceptional. 

Some may not have found the article so helpful. For those of you doomed to permanent skin purgatory, I offer this advice……

Cowl neck garments are so in right now. Just go ask Rick Owens, he’s got your back. Goth ninjas gotta hide somehow……

Forma Aislada~ Paco Peregrin

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Coiffure Catalyst

May 29, 2009

Hi there. Stylecunt here.

I’m not sure if you’ve noticed, but many of my posts have a common theme: Art through fashion. 

There’s nothing I love more than to see fabric sculpted into atypical forms, defying the norm of flat pattern. Function in form is fine, but it’s the one’s who break the code that earn the covet. Who needs comfort when you can have chic. Give me madcap and unorthodox over sleek and sophisticated any day. 

The masses seem to be trailing behind the mania, slowly but surely. Asymmetrical cuts and anomalous shapes are becoming the norm. My own person grail feels within grasp as clubs metamorphose into galleries of living art. 

Fashion’s on it’s way, but what about hair? 

Sure, you color and cut, but there’s only so far that can take you. One day, people will realize that there’s no personality under that asymmetric fringe, and then what will you do? My friend, it’s time for a change. One coif can have a thousand possibilities, but only if you get creative. 

An excellent resource is Doctored Locks. Not only is it a fantastic retail website that carries everything from Kanekalon to fusion rings, but it also has scores of tutorials on every kind of hair extension option you can think of. 

For further inspiration, here are a few of my favorite hair artisans. 

Robert Masciave

 

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How to Wash Your Face

May 25, 2009

where the fuck is the faucet

My esteemed colleague Stylecunt has asked me nicely (“Now, bitch.”) to lay out my skin care regimen. In the interest of never having to stare down another zitty, flaky, blackhead-studded face, pinpoints of clogged pores glowing green under club blacklights, I, your humble Steamcunt, have agreed.

The first thing you need to know about nice skin, is that it’s well-oiled. You probably know the next part, which has been dumbed down for the sake of simplicity: your skin produces a sort of wax called sebum, which is simultaneously the cause of, and solution to, all your skin problems. Sebum is what keeps your pores lubricated so they can express dirt and dead cells, it increases elasticity so that stretched skin can bounce back without forming wrinkles, and it’s responsible for that sort of ethereal “glow” that really healthy skins produce.

imperf_imperfcutThe problem with sebum is that you’re producing it constantly, and usually either under- or over-producing, too. Dry skin looks flaky and dull; greasy skin looks like a buttered ham. To fight the grease, we wash with soap and water, which dissolves the sebum and dries us out. Sometimes, your skin senses the dryness, and just ups production of sebum as a response. We’re back to being greasy. If we’re dry, we flake, we’re at risk for wrinkles, and our pores constrict and often become clogged, causing pimples.

How the hell are you supposed to deal with any of this? It seems like a standoff between dry-and-shitty, and hamface. Assuming you’re reading a fashion blog because you are a fashionably-minded person, I’m going to also assume you’re having an abusive love affair with beauty products. There’s something fascinating about cosmetics that borders on the erotic: the breathless descriptions of powders and lotions in magazines fill us with desire, while our train cases slowly overflow with useless delights we tried once and put away. But it’s addictive, and self-perpetuating, and soon you’re using three different kinds of foundations and concealers, separate morning and night moisturizers for each quadrant of your face, cold cream, face scrub, cleanser, toner, astringent, moisturizing mist, shampoo, cream rinse, wash-out and leave-in conditioners, and you still have zits and your hair is still totally bogue. Why?!

I’m not telling you anything you don’t already know, deep down: those magic potions are bullshit. We like playing dress-up because it’s fun, splashing fruity-smelling tincture all over our dumb faces and twirling in front of the mirror like big gay princesses. But there’s really no need, darlings, none, to delude ourselves into thinking all this stuff is actually good for us.

You just relax, kids. You done fucked it all up, but all is not lost. Gather round, and let ol’ Pappy Steamcunt tell you how it’s done.

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Style Gestapo: The Tragic Plastics

February 25, 2009

The third installment of hair extension week in which some of you should be ashamed. 

THE PLASTICS

Of all the extension catastrophes, the stringy plastic hair falls have to be the least attractive.  It looks like they raided a summer camp craft closet. This video will show you step by step, a much better use for your hairtastrophes. 

Hey! The children want their lanyard materials back! 

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Style Gestapo: Save The Sheep!

February 24, 2009

The second installment of hair extension week, in which I make people I don’t care about dislike me further. 

 

THE WOOL HAIRED ANIME ESCAPISTS

I would love to meet the inventor of wool dreads so I can personally extend my thanks. Now I can literally mop the floor with a bigmouth bitch. Empty threats are a thing of the past.

Is there a secret portal connecting the anime world with ours? Like in the film ‘Cool World’? I can’t imagine where else these big haired wonders came from.

If you see an old lady creeping up on you, run! She might have a loom.