Archive for March, 2009

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The Cypher Seraphs

March 18, 2009

Time traveling seraphs caught on film as they exit the lacuna between jumps. Each harbors a vast collection of vestments accrued throughout time. They don the true bricolage fashion equilibrium. 

Vogue Korea

Title: Future Reflection 
Photographer: Hong Lu 
Models: Dual Kim & Kyung Ah Song 

 

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The Languished Lookbook

March 18, 2009

We, the style obsessed, used to have a beautiful obsession.

That obsession, was Shoutfit.

Shoutfit was a neat little website where you and I could post photographs of our stylish togs. It was wonderfully organized. You could tag the photo all over to label every piece of your outfit, describing the brand, price, and where you acquired it. But above all, Shoutfit was wonderful because of its diversity

Unfortunately, Shoutfit died suddenly without so much as a whisper of goodbye. No warnings, the site just disappeared. 

Now, over a year later, it seems that a new website has risen to take Shoutfit’s place. 

Lookbook.

As a devoted fan of Shoutfit, when I heard about this website, I was elated with joy. Finally, a new style site I could obsess over. But I spoke too soon.

Instead of a style website, Lookbook is an interweb hangout for escapees of American Apparel sex dungeons. It’s a Mecca for camera-whore Swedish gay boys with beards, who used to be in some band that played your cousin’s party, but now just work in that used book store down the street. It’s a stomping ground for girls who wear stretch pants, a blouse found in a gutter, gold sunglasses, their grandmother’s costume jewelry, and wrap it all up with the stench of not showering for a week. 

When this is the most popular look on a style website with thousands of members, I fear for the future of fashion. 

It doesn’t help that Lookbook has decided to be an exclusive snot, as it is a ‘invitation only’ community where it’s not really important what your wearing, it’s who your wearing. 

The whole thing makes me sad. It has great potential to b an amazing style community, but trust fund brats have seen to it that we shall never see anything but images of scene kids in 70’s pajamas.

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Drifting In Space

March 11, 2009

A large fraction of ‘style’ is inspiration. Style inspiration should not just come from other hominids or existing attire, but from a variety of unrelated sources. Art, music, food, architecture, elements, travels, experiences, etc etc etc. 

Alright, enough of the reasoning. I really just want an excuse to post these images. 

ALSO! Stylecunt is adding a new writer. I expect the snark to flow like the sweetest mead. More news on this later.

 

Photographer: Zena Holloway

This definitely inspires me to wear more complicated dresses. 

 

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The Gravity Of Sangfroid And Prudence

March 8, 2009

Or in other words, the importance of poise and self-restraint. 

Actions speak louder than words, but even more vehement is appearance. Someone once said that it’s 40% how you look, 40%how you sound, and 10% what you actually say. When it comes to casual interaction, I’ve always found this to be the gospel. If you look good and sound good, you can survive any social situation. 

So how does this relate to style?

Having actual style in alt culture is an onerous task. The aim has become more about identifying with a subculture, rather than creating a look that identifies with you. The googles make you steampunk, the hair falls make you cyber, the New Rocks make you rivet and so on. Alt culture has reached this pinnacle where the clothes make us who we are. 

What is your look trying to say? Are you and your posse elite cypher-ninjas? Do those brown goths really have a tiny biplane parked outside? Do you take periodic breaks to drink the blood of the innocent?  I was unaware that Lip service is a sovereign nation with a substantial military, what with the numerous humans donning their uniform. 

So there’s the first 40% (but if you ask me, it’s really more like the first 70%). The viewer has already assessed most of who you are by the way you look. Fashion has become so compartmentalized that looks are becoming regalia. If this continues, alt style is surely doomed. 

The point is, if you look like an asshole, people will assume you are an asshole. 

To move on, I will not deny that many people can pull it together. Within subcultures, style does indeed exist. Scores of mortals have been known to show up at ye olde nightclub looking magnificent. 

Which brings me to the real issue at hand, the way you sound. The most expensive clothes from the most prestigious designers are not worth a thing once you have consumed your third drink. What happened to poise? What happened to grace? Hours of style primping can all come crashing to the ground the second you stumble in your stilettos. 

If it’s 40% how you sound, most of you are preordained to fail. The gods of liquor have seen to that. 

I conclude that some contemplation is in order. If you look like an asshole and sound like an asshole, then the last 10% won’t even matter, because no one will care what you have to say. 

So have an opinion! Think before you buy! Buy a mirror! Stop at two drinks! And for the love of god, make sure that biplane has fuel!

As I can never post without the addition of photos, here are some images that, for me, always embodied the essence of poise and grace. 

Photos by Irving Penn.

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In The Navy…..

March 5, 2009

Designer Moschino is satisfying my secret military fetish with this splendid USO girl collection. It is imperative that I obtain all the accessories in these photos. 

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Style Gestapo: Kill It With Fire!

March 3, 2009

The fifth installment of the hair extension slander saga in which I indulge in comedic disdain. 

YARN FRAGGLES

I have posted the worst, the most pointless, and the ugliest hair extensions. Now, I will post the most ridiculous of all: the yarn heads. What person in their right mind thinks that this is a good idea? Did they perhaps fall into their mother’s knitting basket? 

It’s not hair, it’s not even pretend hair, it’s just a big, huge fashion mistake.

But on a lighter not, this photo makes me laugh so hard that I have to push the laptop away periodically.